To face the despair without drowning it out in work, in
career, in the mistaken impression that years lived for work can be easily
shunted aside, maybe so but probably not so much, to not confuse work no matter
what work with being alive.
To face the despair without letting it reconcile us to the
state, to elections, to liberalism reformism or socialism because maybe just
maybe they’ll help to communicate with the people outside our little bubbles,
to, “actually get something done” to spread the good word, they will only
silence that word inside you.
To face the despair without thinking “actually getting
something done” is a parameter of living, without thinking living has
parameters, schemas, plans and blueprints.
To face the despair without turning it into disgust, a
disgust with ourselves we turn into a disgust for our comrades for “the left”
for every project we might have been a part of in the foolish ecstasy of our
living, a disgust that makes us isolationist, alone or in groups filled with
the self-righteousness of withdrawal: the transformation of self disgust into
disgust with the Other is fascism.
To face our despair without being impatient for not being
done facing it, without letting that impatience lead us with dignified resignation to
becoming again a citizen, to begin in earnest a life of order and peace.
To face our despair without pretending we have finished
facing it, that we are through it, that anything except the resumption of
struggle can defeat it.
To face our despair without thinking whatever projects we
have now are communism, they cannot be they will not be though they may help us
be ready to begin to move towards it.
To face our despair without letting it lead our critique,
To face our despair without merely waiting,
To face our despair without merely acting in order to act.
To face our despair without letting is turn us into our
parents, our bosses, our police, our ex-es, our couple formation, the opposites
of our past selves, the parodic exaggeration of our past selves, ourselves.
To face our despair and know that it is the despair of
without, without trying to replace that without with what is built only to fill
it.
